Quote of the Day

"The older you get, the more you want your panties." - My 74-year-old patient, on the importance of wearing underwear

Quote of the Day

Patient, to me: "You got any drinks?"
Me: "We've got Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Diet Sprite, Dr. Pepper, and Diet Dr. Pepper."
Patient: "Gimme a Pepsi."

Uhhh...

Quote of the Day

Possibly the best patient quote of all time...

"This one time, I went all the way up to [insert name of faraway city here] Minnesota - I had hemorrhoid surgery with laser beams..."

Quote(s) of the Day

So, I've done a terrible job keeping up with this site. Hopefully, I'll get better, but I don't want to make any promises. To make up for my lack of posts, here are a few quotes that I needed to hear today:

It is not work that kills men, it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more on a man than he can bear. But worry is rust upon the blade. It is not movement that destroys the machinery, but friction.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. - Benjamin Franklin

The rose is fairest when 't is budding new, and hope is brightest when it dawns from fears. - Walter Scott

Quote of the Day

Patient: I have two kids at home, and I've never left them.
Nurse: How old are they?
Patient: 19 & 14.

YouTube Video of the Day

I had another video all picked out, but then I saw this one. This little girl is hysterical AND hysterically funny. She's three, and she loves Justin Bieber.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTCm8tdHkfI

Website of the Day

Hilarious and also super useful :)

http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

Website of the Day

I can't take credit for discovering this, but it totally cracks me up!

www.davidbowieisverydisappointedinyou.com

(Past) Quotes of the Day

Just to get started, I thought I'd post some of the quotes I've been collecting since starting my job a year and a half ago.

Me, to a patient, "That's a pretty robe." (It was black with animal print trim.) Patient's husband, to me, "It took me a long time to catch that leopard."

"That's one thing I don't have trouble with - sticking my butt out. It sticks out far enough on its own. That butt got me in a lot of trouble back in the day." - A 52-year-old woman who had just been instructed to get her rear end as far back on the bed as possible when she sat down

"You know how I keep my showers clean? I oil 'em." (And then, when asked what kind of oil...) "Any ol' kind. Cooking oil's fine. But be sure to put a towel in the bottom of the shower, so you don't slip."

"I'd jog if you all would give me some medical marijuana...and a bag of doritos." - A 43-year-old man, while working with PT

"My daughter went to Lipscomb. So did my son who was killed. Oh, and he would have been just perfect for you..." - A 73-year-old lady, who didn't seem to realize that her deceased son would have been old enough to be my dad

"I wanted to be the best patient you all had ever had, but my urethra ruined that." - A patient who had a difficult time with a catheter after surgery

And, perhaps my favorite of all patient quotes in the past year and a half I've been working as a physical therapist: "You're a good nurse, Rachel."