Me, to a patient, "That's a pretty robe." (It was black with animal print trim.) Patient's husband, to me, "It took me a long time to catch that leopard."
"That's one thing I don't have trouble with - sticking my butt out. It sticks out far enough on its own. That butt got me in a lot of trouble back in the day." - A 52-year-old woman who had just been instructed to get her rear end as far back on the bed as possible when she sat down
"You know how I keep my showers clean? I oil 'em." (And then, when asked what kind of oil...) "Any ol' kind. Cooking oil's fine. But be sure to put a towel in the bottom of the shower, so you don't slip."
"I'd jog if you all would give me some medical marijuana...and a bag of doritos." - A 43-year-old man, while working with PT
"My daughter went to Lipscomb. So did my son who was killed. Oh, and he would have been just perfect for you..." - A 73-year-old lady, who didn't seem to realize that her deceased son would have been old enough to be my dad
"I wanted to be the best patient you all had ever had, but my urethra ruined that." - A patient who had a difficult time with a catheter after surgery
And, perhaps my favorite of all patient quotes in the past year and a half I've been working as a physical therapist: "You're a good nurse, Rachel."
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